The Blurr and the 'Bee: A Parody of a Fable
by Ava Phoenixia
Summary: Based on Aesop's "the Hare and the Tortoise." Includes spontaneous appearance of a crossover character.  Wherein both characters learn a lesson  or two. Oneshot.


**I take some liberties here. Due to the nature of this story, it is of course AU.**

**Note the guest appearance from Emelan. Ask not how or whence he came; let it merely be noted that one has my undying awe (and a lot of brownie points) if one can name him.**

* * *

Once upon a time there was a little Cybertronian. His name was Bumblebee. He was smaller than most others and did not like having this pointed out to him. He liked to believe that he was the "fastest thing on wheels," as he often told his comrades. His ego, as can be seen, was big for his size.

One day, as he was out patrolling a city on a rather out-of-the-way, little blue planet, a blue blur revved up aside of him. The Blurr, actually, who then sped by him without so much as a by-your-leave.

Bumblebee wasn't standing for any of that (so of course he ought to have sat down. No, just kidding!). He took the slight as a challenge and chased Blurr halfway across the city of Detroit, ignoring the commlink calls of his teammates, most notably the Prime. In the end Blurr tired of the not-exactly-race and screeched to a halt, transforming. Bumblebee did likewise. Before Blurr could put in more than a few words edgewise (if he wasn't such a fast talker, he wouldn't have gotten any in), Bumblebee had challenged Blurr to a race.

Now, there wasn't anything special going on, so Blurr figured he could spare a few seconds for a race. He was partial to races. Besides, it would at least get this little yellow 'bot off his back. He agreed to a cross-country race (which incidentally passed by near where Sari, Prowl and Bumblebee once went camping) when the sun was at its apex the next day. Blurr did not think the race would take long.

The prearranged time came and the two speedsters were ready on the very outskirts of urban Detroit (Bumblebee had had to sneak away). The racers, on Sari's mark (she had sneaked out with Bumblebee), were ready, set and gone.

As they sped through the suburbs, the two of them jockyed for the lead. Blurr soon pulled ahead, turned a corner and was out of sight. However, soon he was into the woods. He entered these where, according to the GPS signal he recieved via the antenna on his head, led in a line straight to the finish. Unluckily for him, it was the edge of the woods, and there were a heck of a lot of bushes and what few sort-of roads were little more than deer paths. Needless to say, these tough, woody, wiry little plants were not kind to a mech's paintjob, even if he was crushing four underwheel for every two that he scraped by. Regardless of the local flora, he plowed on at (as close as he could get to) his usual speed.

These bushes, unfortunately for Blurr, continued in a long, wide streak through the woods, getting thicker the farther he went into the trees. He was half-way to the agreed-upon site when a particularly dense patch of shrubbery gave way to a ditch. (Actually, "ditch" might have been understating it. It was more like a ravine, really.) In he tumbled, transforming to robot mode as he dropped. Hitting the bottom, he let off a string of Cybertronian curses at a rate ridiculous even for him. Then he began the Herculean task of climbing back up the steep, narrow, earthen scar. His shoulder armor kept getting in the way.

Meanwhile, Bumblebee was wending his way through the trees, expertly using his smaller size and previous knowledge of the woods to his advantage. He soon passed the ditch that Blurr had fallen into. He honked his horn cheekily, and as he wound his way onwards he called out a derisive "See ya!"

Realizing that for once he might actually lose a race, Blurr scrambled to get out, almost losing his grip and tumbling back down to the bottom again. By then, Bumblebee was out of sight.

Shaking the debris out of the chinks in his armor, he transformed. He knew that in a straight race Bumblebee had little chance of winning, but in this forest, with all these trees to dodge and bushes that tugged at his armor...! Not to mention the fact that the information he had gleaned from Earth's satellites told him nothing of the path to the abandoned mine they were racing to. (Where, interestingly enough, Bumblebee had once had a run-in with Space Barnacles.)

But Blurr was persistent. He hadn't lost once yet, though he knew there was a first time for everything. Most of the time he relied on data fed to him by his antenna, but this time, he chose his own paths, with minimal referencing to the data he had already had, although he was forced to take things much slower. This proved well for him. The foliage rattled away to reveal yellow flashes of Bumblebee every now and then, though Bumblebee's going was still a heck of a lot easier.

Then, according to Blurr's sensors, they were nearly at the mines. This, he knew, was his chance. The moment the trees parted to reveal the clear areas around the mines, Blurr sped on. Unfortunately, his energy stores were sadly depleted: fighting out of a slit in the ground, which was a task that called for strength and agility, and through thick woods (which again called for agility) had taken their toll, and his Earth vehicle mode was infinitely slower than his robot mode. It was, however, a matter of honor that he remain in his vehicle mode (and he had never been good at transforming from car to 'bot while in motion anyways).

And then suddenly, gaping among rock rubble, was the mine's entrance.

* * *

So who was the Hare, and who the Tortoise? In the end, it was a tie. Their advantages and disadvantages were too evenly matched. Perhaps they shared both roles. Both came away with valuable lessons: Bumblebee learned not to let pride rule his judgement, and Blurr learned to take the information he gathered with a pinch of salt, and to rely more on his own judgement. He also, incidentally, learned that sometimes slow and steady wins the race. Perhaps Blurr had more of the Hare in him, though Bumblebee had none of the Tortoise's wisdom.

Having acknowledged the outcome of the race (quite a feat for Bumblebee), they parted ways (but not for the last time). Bumblebee left to pick up Sari and tell her what happened, and Blurr continued to monitor the Decepticon leader, and the other top-secret spy stuff he had been sent to do on Earth. They went about their business and never suspected exactly the nature of what had happened.

_And deep in the woods, a teenaged boy leaned against the crook of a tree branch and snickered. That had to be the best- possibly only- practical joke he had played since Gyongxe. They should have realized that his namesake, briar bushes, didn't grow in such numbers, nor did they normally grow with such assortments of other thorny plants. They really should have noticed that it was a little too inconvenient for the greatest concentration of said plants to grow so close to such a large ravine. He would have thought that the yellow one at least would notice. The trees had said he'd been here before. But he supposed it was too much to ask for men, let alone giant metal men from among the stars, to take notice of such small things as greenery. Ah well._

_Giving the tree bark one last pat, he set off on the long trek between worlds for home. He planned to take some detours._


End file.
